“kinodoku / o-kinodoku ni” Meaning — Poor Thing / I Feel for You [JLPT N1]

Content by NTJ Kuma · Nihongo to Japan editorial team · Updated July 27, 2026

Expressing sympathy for someone else's misfortune (not your own regret) — usage and examples. (JLPT N1)

「このたびはお気の毒でした」 — expressing sympathy for another's misfortune

To express sympathy for another's misfortune, 「事故で家を失うなんて、本当にお気の毒だ」 (losing your home in an accident — truly my sympathies) — 「〜気の毒・お気の毒に」 = poor thing, my sympathies, used to express sympathy or pity for another's situation (not one's own regret). 「お気の毒に」 is a word of condolence. This guide covers its use, the other “I feel bad” sense, and separating it from 「かわいそう.」

Core: for another's misfortune, feeling sympathy, unable to bear it

「気の毒」 is used to “express sympathy, pity when someone else meets misfortune／hardship”:

• 彼の境遇を思うと、気の毒でならない (thinking of his circumstances, I can't help feeling for him).
• 「このたびはお気の毒でした」と、お悔やみを述べた (“My condolences on your loss,” I said in sympathy).
• あんなに頑張ったのに落選するとは、お気の毒に (to lose after trying so hard — my sympathies).

Feel: the core is “for another's situation (misfortune, hardship), feeling sympathy, pity, unable to bear it.” ⚠️It's sympathy for “someone else,” not one's own regret／sadness. 「お気の毒に」 is a word of condolence, for when the other has met misfortune (= my condolences, please accept my sympathies, that must be hard). There's also an extended sense: 「気の毒なことをした」 = “(I) did something that put the other in a bind／at a loss, and I feel bad.” It corresponds to “poor thing, my sympathies, I'm sorry (for your loss), I feel bad.”

Forms & attachment

Examples in use

• 台風で作物が全滅したとは、農家の方々がお気の毒だ。(For the crops to be wiped out by the typhoon — my sympathies to the farmers.)
• 事情も知らずに叱ってしまい、気の毒なことをした。(I scolded them without knowing the circumstances — I feel bad about it.)
• 病気のお母様のこと、お気の毒に存じます。(I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's illness.)
• こんな雨の中を来てもらって、気の毒だった。(Having you come in rain like this — I felt bad.)
• 彼の失敗は自業自得だが、少し気の毒でもある。(His failure is self-inflicted, but I feel a bit sorry for him too.)

⚠️ Where learners slip up

① 「気の毒」 is sympathy for ‘another's' situation, not one's own regret／sadness. This is the easiest misunderstanding. 「気の毒」 expresses “for another's misfortune, hardship, feeling sympathy, pity, unable to bear it” — the object is “someone else”: 彼が気の毒だ (I feel sorry for him), みんなに笑われて、お気の毒に (laughed at by everyone — my sympathies). It's not “(oneself) feeling it's a pity, regret, sadness.” Learners easily misuse 「気の毒」 for “(one's own) regret／sadness,” but it's specifically “sympathy for another.” It corresponds to “poor thing, my sympathies.” Test: to express sympathy, pity for “another's unfortunate situation” → 気の毒. (To express “(oneself) feeling it's a pity／regret” is 「残念,」 not 「気の毒.」)

② 「お気の毒に」 is a word of condolence (my sympathies／condolences). 「お気の毒に／お気の毒でした」 is a condolence, expression of sympathy for when another has met misfortune, equivalent to “my condolences, that must be hard, please accept my sympathies”: ご不幸があったと聞いて、お気の毒に存じます (hearing of your misfortune, my sympathies), それはお気の毒でした (that must have been hard／my sympathies). It's a proper, weighty condolence. Test: to properly express condolence when the other has met misfortune／setback → お気の毒に.

③ There's also 「気の毒なことをした」 = I feel bad (having put the other out); division of labor with 「かわいそう.」 First an extended sense — 「気の毒なことをした」 = “(I) did something that put the other in a bind／at a loss, and I feel bad” (feeling sorry for having made the other exert themselves, be inconvenienced, lose out): 忙しいのに手伝わせて、気の毒なことをした (having you help when you're busy — I feel bad). Then separate 「かわいそう」: 「気の毒」 = sympathy, pity (more weighty, with distance, mostly for condoling an adult's situation): お気の毒に. 「かわいそう」 = poor, pitiful (more colloquial, direct, emotive, mostly for the weak／unfortunate): かわいそうな子犬 (a poor puppy), 捨てられてかわいそう (poor thing, abandoned). Difference: 「気の毒」 is more weighty, often for condolence (sympathy for another's situation, with distance); 「かわいそう」 is more colloquial, direct, emotive (mostly pity for the small／pitiable). Note: saying 「あなたはかわいそうですね」 directly to the person can be rude (as if pitying them from above); 「お気の毒に」 is the proper condolence. Test: to weightily express sympathy／condolence for another's situation → 気の毒 (お気の毒に); to colloquially pity the small／innocent → かわいそう.

🔄 Compare with similar forms: 気の毒／かわいそう／残念／申し訳ない

💡 Quick takeaway

「〜気の毒・お気の毒に」 = poor thing, my sympathies — three points: ① it's sympathy for ‘another's' situation, not one's own regret／sadness (彼が気の毒だ = I feel for him); ②「お気の毒に」 is a word of condolence (my sympathies／condolences, for when the other has met misfortune); ③ there's also 「気の毒なことをした = I feel bad」; division of labor with 「かわいそう」 — 気の毒 is more weighty, often for condolence, かわいそう more colloquial, direct. This is an important social／condolence expression — 「お気の毒に」 is the proper way to express sympathy when another has met misfortune, more measured and less rude than bluntly saying 「かわいそう.」 To weightily express sympathy, condolence for another's misfortune, 「（お）気の毒」 is spot-on (remember it's “sympathy for another,” not “one's own regret”).

❓ FAQ

Q: 「気の毒」 and 「かわいそう」 both mean ‘pitiful' — how do I tell them apart?

The difference is ‘weighty／with distance' vs ‘colloquial／direct and emotive,' and the object. 「気の毒」 = sympathy, pity (for another's situation; more weighty, with distance, often for condolence): it's more weighty, polite, with a bit of distance, often for “expressing sympathy, condolence for another's (especially an adult's) misfortune,” a proper social expression: ご家族を亡くされて、お気の毒に存じます (my condolences on losing your family — weighty condolence), リストラされたなんて、気の毒だね (laid off — my sympathies — sympathy for another's situation). It fits formal, polite settings, especially condolence. 「かわいそう」 = poor, pitiful (more colloquial, direct, emotive, mostly for the weak／pitiable): it's more colloquial, direct, emotionally strong, mostly for “expressing pity for the weak, the innocent, the heart-wrenching”: 捨てられた子猫がかわいそう (the abandoned kitten is so pitiful), あの子は親を亡くしてかわいそうだ (that child lost their parents, so pitiful), 雨に濡れてかわいそう (soaked in the rain, poor thing). It carries direct, strong pity. Difference: 「気の毒」 more weighty, with distance (sympathy for another's situation, often for condoling adults); 「かわいそう」 more colloquial, direct, emotive (mostly pity for the small／pitiable). ⚠️Note: saying 「かわいそう」 ‘directly' to the person can sometimes be rude — because 「かわいそう」 carries a “(pitying you from above)” flavor, and saying 「あなたはかわいそうだ」 directly to someone may make them uncomfortable; while for condolence, 「お気の毒に」 is proper and measured. Test: weightily, politely expressing sympathy／condolence for another's situation (especially adults, formal settings) → 気の毒 (お気の毒に); colloquially pitying the weak／innocent (children, animals, the heart-wrenching) → かわいそう. So for condoling an elder's／colleague's misfortune use 「お気の毒に,」 for a pitiful little animal use 「かわいそう.」

Q: Does 「気の毒なことをした」 mean ‘did a pitiful thing'?

No — here it means “(having put the other out／at a loss,) I feel bad, I'm sorry.” Besides “(for another's situation) sympathy, pity,” 「気の毒」 has an extended use — 「気の毒なことをした」 = “(I) did something that put the other in a bind, at a loss, or to trouble, and I feel bad.” Its logic: because “my action put the other in a ‘pitiable (気の毒)' situation,” “I did a 気の毒 (put-the-other-in-a-pitiable-state) thing” = “I've wronged the other, I feel bad”: 忙しいのに手伝わせてしまって、気の毒なことをした (having you help when you're busy, I feel bad — for making you exert yourself), こちらの都合で予定を変更させて、気の毒なことをした (making you change plans for my sake, I feel bad), 事情を知らずに責めてしまい、気の毒なことをした (scolding without knowing the circumstances, I feel bad). It's not “did a pitiful thing (the act itself pitiful)” but “(having put the other in a pitiable state, I) feel bad.” This use is close to 「申し訳ない (sorry),」 but 「気の毒なことをした」 stresses more “feeling bad for having made the other exert themselves／lose out.” Test: 「気の毒なことをした」 = “(having put the other out／at a loss,) I feel bad” (not “did a pitiful thing”). So on seeing 「〜に気の毒なことをした,」 read it as “I feel bad toward ～ (for having troubled them).”

🖊️ Practice Questions (5)

Q1. 「家が火事だなんて、本当に___ですね。」(truly unfortunate / a pity)

(A) お気の毒　(B) おかげ　(C) お互い　(D) おまけ

Q2. 「気の毒」のもう一つの意味は?

(A) (troubling the other person) feeling apologetic

(B) Glad

(C) Angry

(D) Afraid

Q3. 「気の毒でならない」の意味は?

(A) Feeling that (the other person) is deeply pitiable

(B) Feeling very happy

(C) Not caring at all

(D) Feeling lucky

Q4. 「気の毒」と「残念」の違いは?

(A) 気の毒 = sympathy for another's plight; 残念 = regret about an outcome

(B) The two are exactly the same

(C) 気の毒 = about an outcome

(D) 残念 = sympathy for others

Q5. 用法が自然なのは?

(A) お気の毒な話を聞いた。　(B) お気の毒を食べる。

(C) 気の毒だうれしい(contradiction)。　(D) 気の毒に行け(command)。

Answer Explanations

1. (A) お気の毒 ── truly unfortunate/pitiable.

2. (A) ── feeling sorry for troubling the other person.

3. (A) ── feeling that the other person is deeply pitiable.

4. (A) ── 気の毒 sympathizes with others; 残念 is about an outcome.

5. (A) ── 「お気の毒な話を聞いた」 is correct.