“〜te hoshii / 〜te hoshikunai”: Want Someone to Do/Not Do [JLPT N4]

Content by NTJ Kuma · Nihongo to Japan editorial team · Updated July 27, 2026

「友達に来てほしい」 — wanting *someone else* to do (or not do) something.

「もっと説明してほしい」 — wanting someone else to do something

「もっとゆっくり話してほしい」 (I want (you) to speak more slowly) — 「(person) に ＋ verb て-form ＋ ほしい」 means “want someone to do something,” an expectation of another person (wanting them to do it, not wanting to do it yourself). The negative 「〜てほしくない／〜ないでほしい」 = want them not to. This guide covers てほしい's attachment and target particle, and separates it from 「たい (what you want to do)」.

Core: an expectation of others (want them to do)

• (person) に ＋ て-form ＋ ほしい = want someone to do ~: 友達に来てほしい (I want my friend to come).
• Negative (want them not to): 〜ないでほしい／〜てほしくない: もう遅刻しないでほしい (I want you to stop being late).

Key: the target is “someone else” (want to do it yourself → たい; want another to do it → てほしい).

How to Connect

Example sentences

• もっと説明してほしい。(I want (you) to explain more.) — expectation
• 友達にも、来てほしい。(I want my friend to come too.) — of others
• 約束を守ってほしい。(I want (you) to keep your promise.) — expectation
• もう二度と遅刻しないでほしい。(I want you to never be late again.) — negative expectation
• ご確認していただきたいのですが。(I'd like to ask you to confirm.) — polite version

⚠️ Where learners slip up

① The target of “want someone to do” takes 「に」. 友達に来てほしい (✗ 友達が来てほしい for an expectation). 「に」 marks “whom you want to act.”

② てほしい (want others to do) vs たい (want to do yourself). 来てほしい = want (someone) to come; 行きたい = (I) want to go. One about others, one about yourself.

③ Be polite with 「〜ていただきたい」. To seniors or clients, 「〜てほしい」 is too direct; 「〜ていただきたい（のですが）」 is more courteous (確認していただきたいのですが = I'd like you to confirm).

🔄 Compare with similar forms: てほしい／たい／てもらいたい

💡 The key point in use

The key to 「てほしい」 is “the target is someone else” — not wanting to do it yourself (that's たい), but “wanting someone to do it (for me).” Remember the attachment: (person) に ＋ て-form ＋ ほしい (友達に来てほしい). The negative “want them not to” uses 「〜ないでほしい」 (心配しないでほしい). The key practical point: for superiors and formal settings, upgrade 「〜てほしい」 to 「〜ていただきたい（のですが）」 so it isn't too direct or rude. For asking favors, this is the core.

❓ FAQ

Q: 「てほしい」 vs 「たい」?

By who does it: 「〜てほしい」 = want someone else to do (友達に来てほしい = want my friend to come); 「〜たい」 = I want to do (私が行きたい = I want to go). One expects others, one states your own wish. English may say “want to” for both, but Japanese keeps them distinct: want others → てほしい, want yourself → たい.

Q: Can I say 「〜てほしい」 directly to a client or boss?

It's not quite tactful — too direct. To seniors, clients, or in formal settings, swap 「〜てほしい」 for the humble, gentle 「〜ていただきたい（のですが）」 (ご確認していただきたいのですが = I'd like to ask you to confirm). Keep 「てほしい」 for friends and peers; use 「ていただきたい」 for polite requests.

🖊️ Practice Quiz

Q1. 「もっとゆっくり話し___い。」(I want you to speak more slowly) Which is correct?

(A) てほし　(B) たほし　(C) てもらい　(D) てあげ

Q2. 「友達___来てほしい。」(want my friend to come) Which particle for the target?

(A) が　(B) に　(C) を　(D) と

Q3. 「約束を守っ___。」(I want you to keep your promise) Which is correct?

(A) てほしい　(B) たい　(C) てあげる　(D) てもらう

Q4. 「もう二度と遅刻し___。」(I want you not to be late again) The negative ‘want not done' is?

(A) てほしい　(B) ないでほしい　(C) たくない　(D) てほしかった

Q5. For a polite business request ‘I'd like you to …', what's most suitable?

(A) 〜てほしい　(B) 〜たい　(C) 〜ていただきたい　(D) 〜てあげたい

Answer Key

1. (A) てほし ── verb te-form ＋ ほしい = want (someone) to do: 話してほしい.

2. (B) に ── wanting someone to do something, the target uses に: 友達に来てほしい (✗ 友達が).

3. (A) てほしい ── 守ってほしい = want you to keep it; te-form ＋ ほしい.

4. (B) ないでほしい ── ‘want not done' uses ない-form ＋ でほしい: 遅刻しないでほしい.

5. (C) 〜ていただきたい ── the polite/humble 〜ていただきたい is best for business; てほしい is too direct.