“〜te ageru・〜te morau・〜te kureru”: Mastering the Direction of Giving & Receiving [JLPT N4]
Content by NTJ Kuma · Nihongo to Japan editorial team · Updated August 12, 2026
「母が作ってくれた」vs「先生に直してもらった」 — the same favour, told from the giver's or the receiver's side.
「〜てあげる・〜てくれる・〜てもらう」 — which way does the favor flow?
「友達に宿題を見せてあげた」 (I let my friend see my homework), 「母が晩ご飯を作ってくれた」 (my mom made dinner (for me)), 「先生に直してもらった」 (I had my teacher correct it) — these “giving-and-receiving verbs (て-form ＋ あげる／くれる／もらう)” express the direction of a favor: “doing for someone／someone doing for me.” Get the direction wrong and the meaning flips. This guide sorts all three via “which way the favor flows.”
Core: the favor's direction and viewpoint
The three differ by the favor's direction and whose viewpoint:
- 〜てあげる = I (or my side) do for someone else (favor: me→other): 私は友達を手伝ってあげた.
- 〜てくれる = someone does for me (or my side) (favor: other→me, from “my” viewpoint): 友達が手伝ってくれた.
- 〜てもらう = I get／have someone do for me (favor: me←other, with “I” as the receiving subject): 私は友達に手伝ってもらった.
How to Connect
| Form | Direction／particle | Example |
|---|---|---|
| 〜てあげる | me→other (〜に〜を) | 見せてあげる （I'll show it to you） |
| 〜てくれる | other→me (〜が) | 作ってくれる （they make it for me） |
| 〜てもらう | me←other (〜に／から) | 直してもらう |
實用例句
- 私は友達に宿題を見せてあげた。(I let my friend see my homework.) — me→other
- 母が晩ご飯を作ってくれた。(My mom made dinner for me.) — other→me
- 先生に作文を直してもらった。(I had my teacher correct my essay.) — me←other
- 友達が駅まで送ってくれた。(My friend saw me to the station.) — other→me
- 彼に荷物を持ってもらった。(I had him help carry the luggage.) — me←other
⚠️ Easy traps to avoid
① てくれる vs てもらう: different viewpoint and subject. てくれる has “the other” as subject (友達が手伝ってくれた = my friend helped me); てもらう has “I” as subject (私は友達に手伝ってもらった = I had my friend help). Same event, different viewpoint — くれる is “the other (proactively) does for me,” もらう is “I (go) get the other to do.”
② Be careful with 「てあげる」 toward superiors. てあげる carries an “I (bestow) do for you” feel; saying 「〜てあげます」 directly to a senior/boss can sound arrogant (like doing them a favor). To a superior, use the humble 「お〜します」 or the more careful 「〜てさしあげる」.
③ Particles: あげる／もらう's object takes 「に」, くれる's giver takes 「が」. （私が）友達に (あげる/もらう), 友達が (くれる). Different direction, different particle.
🔄 Compare with similar forms: てあげる／てくれる／てもらう
| Form | Direction／viewpoint | Example |
|---|---|---|
| 〜てあげる | me→other (I bestow) | 貸してあげる （I'll lend it to you） |
| 〜てくれる | other→me (other proactively) | 貸してくれる （they lend it to me） |
| 〜てもらう | me←other (I get/receive) | 貸してもらう |
I do for others → てあげる; others (proactively) do for me → てくれる; I get/have others do → てもらう. くれる and もらう are both “others do for me,” differing in viewpoint (くれる: other as subject; もらう: I as subject).
💡 Learning tip
The key to giving-receiving verbs is the favor's direction — remember three images: ① てあげる = I give (a benefit) to someone (宿題を見せてあげる = (I) let you see my homework); ② てくれる = someone gives (a benefit) to me (母が作ってくれた = my mom made it (for me)); ③ てもらう = I get it from someone (先生に直してもらった = I had my teacher correct it). The easiest confusion is てくれる vs てもらう — both are “others help me,” differing in subject／viewpoint: くれる is “the other (proactively) does for me,” もらう is “I (go) get/receive the other doing.” One reminder: use 「てあげる」 carefully toward seniors (it carries a bestowing feel). Get the direction right and the set clicks.
❓ FAQ
Q: 「てくれる」 and 「てもらう」 both mean others help me — how do I tell them apart?
By subject and viewpoint. 「てくれる」 has “the other” as subject — the other proactively does for me (友達が手伝ってくれた = my friend helped me, focus on “the friend (doing it),” with gratitude). 「てもらう」 has “I” as subject — I get／have the other do for me (私は友達に手伝ってもらった = I had my friend help, focus on “I (received this help)”). Same event: くれる tells it from “the other does for me,” もらう from “I get the other to do.” Particles differ too: くれる uses 「友達が」, もらう uses 「友達に」.
Q: Why be careful with 「てあげる」 toward seniors?
Because 「てあげる」 carries an “I (bestow) do for you” feel — stressing “I did a good thing for you.” Fine with peers, juniors, and friends, but saying 「〜てあげます」 directly to a senior/boss sounds arrogant, like doing them a favor (e.g. telling a teacher 「荷物を持ってあげます」 is a bit rude). To a superior, when helping, use the humble 「お持ちします (let me carry it)」, or the more careful 「〜てさしあげる」 (but be cautious — it still carries a bestowing feel; in practice 「お〜します」 is safest). In short: don't use 「てあげる」 upward — use humble forms.
🖊️ Practice Questions (5)
Q1. 「友達に宿題を___。」 (I showed my friend my homework — I did it actively)
(A) 見せてあげた (B) 見せてもらった (C) 見せてくれた (D) 見せられた
Q2. 「母が晩ご飯を___。」 (Mom made dinner for me, on her own)
(A) 作ってあげた (B) 作ってもらった (C) 作ってくれた (D) 作られた
Q3. 「先生に作文を___。」 (I had the teacher correct my essay)
(A) 直してあげた (B) 直してもらった (C) 直してくれた (D) 直された
Q4. 「彼が荷物を___。」 (He carried my luggage for me, on his own)
(A) 持ってあげた (B) 持ってもらった (C) 持ってくれた (D) 持たせた
Q5. てもらう vs てくれる: which sentence more strongly emphasizes "I'm grateful the other person helped me on their own initiative"?
(A) 友達に送ってもらった。
(B) 友達が送ってくれた。
(C) 友達に送ってあげた。
(D) 友達を送った。
Answer Explanations
1. (A) 見せてあげた ── I (the subject) actively showed my friend → てあげる. Direction: me → friend.
2. (C) 作ってくれた ── Mom (the subject) made it for me of her own accord → てくれる. Gratitude for Mom's kindness. (If you said 「作ってもらった」 = I asked Mom to make it, the nuance differs.)
3. (B) 直してもらった ── I (the subject) had the teacher correct it → てもらう. I'm the subject; the teacher is the one asked.
4. (C) 持ってくれた ── He (the subject) carried it for me of his own accord → てくれる. He gives the action; I'm grateful to him.
5. (B) 友達が送ってくれた ── てくれる emphasizes "the other person did something good for me on their own", expressing gratitude for the friend's action; it's the warmest in tone. てもらう leans toward "I received some help", with the focus on my side.