“〜te morau・〜te kureru・〜te ageru”: Giving and Receiving [JLPT N4]
Content by NTJ Kuma · Nihongo to Japan editorial team · Updated July 27, 2026
「彼に教えてもらった」「彼が教えてくれた」「彼に教えてあげた」 — a complete guide to Japanese giving/receiving verbs.
「〜てもらう・〜てくれる・〜てあげる」 — the giving-receiving system and its keigo forms
「友達に英語を教えてもらった」 (I had a friend teach me English), 「彼が料理を作ってくれた」 (he made food for me), 「私が手伝ってあげた」 (I helped them) — these “giving-receiving expressions” convey the favor relationship of “doing for someone／someone doing for me,” hinging on who does for whom, who benefits, who's the subject. This is the systematic overview of giving-receiving, sorting all three at once, plus the business-essential keigo forms (〜ていただく／〜てくださる／〜てさしあげる). (An intro to the three's “direction” has its own 〈てあげる・てくれる・てもらう〉 guide.)
Core: the favor's direction (who benefits, who's the subject)
Giving-receiving hinges on the favor's direction and who's the subject:
- 〜てもらう = I get／have someone do (subject = I, benefit = me): （私は）友達に教えてもらう.
- 〜てくれる = someone (proactively) does for me (subject = other, benefit = me): 友達が教えてくれる.
- 〜てあげる = I do for someone (subject = I, benefit = other): （私は）友達に教えてあげる.
Mnemonic: もらう／あげる have “I” as subject, くれる has “the other.”
Giving-receiving compared
| Form | Subject | Direction (favor) | Example |
|---|---|---|---|
| 〜てもらう | I | other→me (I get/have) | 教えてもらう |
| 〜てくれる | other | other→me (other proactively) | 教えてくれる （they teach me） |
| 〜てあげる | I | me→other | 教えてあげる （I teach them） |
實用例句
- 友達に英語を教えてもらいました。(I had a friend teach me English.) — てもらう
- 彼が私のために料理を作ってくれた。(He made food for me.) — てくれる
- 私は後輩に日本語を教えてあげた。(I taught a junior Japanese.) — てあげる
- 先生に作文を直していただいた。((humble) I had my teacher correct my essay.) — keigo (もらう)
- 部長が資料を送ってくださった。((respectful) The manager sent me the materials.) — keigo (くれる)
⚠️ Where learners slip up
① 「てあげる」 is rude toward seniors. てあげる carries an “I bestow on you” feel; saying 「〜てあげます」 to a senior/boss sounds arrogant (✗ 先生、荷物を持ってあげます). To a superior, use the humble 「お持ちします」.
② てくれる (other が) vs てもらう (I が): different subjects. 友達が手伝ってくれた (my friend proactively helped, subject = friend) vs 私は友達に手伝ってもらった (I had my friend help, subject = I). Same event, different viewpoint.
③ Memorize the keigo forms. もらう→いただく (humble, my side), くれる→くださる (respectful, the other), あげる→さしあげる (humble, upward, but still bestowing — use carefully). Business and seniors require the keigo forms.
🔄 Nuance & comparison: てもらう／てくれる／てあげる
| Form | Viewpoint／favor | Keigo form |
|---|---|---|
| 〜てもらう | I get/have (subject I) | 〜ていただく |
| 〜てくれる | other does for me (subject other) | 〜てくださる |
| 〜てあげる | I do for other (subject I) | 〜てさしあげる |
💡 The one thing to remember
Giving-receiving is core to Japanese interpersonal relations — two points make it click: ① the subject (もらう／あげる have “I,” くれる has “the other”); ② the keigo forms (もらう→いただく, くれる→くださる, required for business and seniors). Most useful is 「〜ていただけますか (could you please…)」 — a super-polite request (教えていただけますか = could you teach me), far more courteous than 「教えてください」. One trap: use 「てあげる」 sparingly toward seniors (bestowing feel) — use 「お〜します」. To first grasp the three's “direction,” see the 〈てあげる・てくれる・てもらう〉 intro; this guide's keigo forms and comparison table are the next step up.
❓ Questions you might have
Q: Who's the subject of 「てもらう」「てくれる」「てあげる」?
「てもらう」 subject = I (I get/have someone do: 私は友達に教えてもらう = I have my friend teach me); 「てくれる」 subject = the other (the other proactively does for me: 友達が教えてくれる = my friend teaches me); 「てあげる」 subject = I (I do for someone: 私は友達に教えてあげる = I teach my friend). Mnemonic: もらう and あげる have “I” as subject (I get, I give); くれる has “the other” (the other gives me). Particles: もらう／あげる use 「〜に」, くれる uses 「〜が」.
Q: What are the keigo forms, and when are they used?
All three have keigo forms, required for business, seniors, and formal settings: ① もらう→いただく (humble, elevating the other: 教えていただく = (humbly) have you teach); ② くれる→くださる (respectful, the other does for me: 送ってくださる = (respectfully) you send for me); ③ あげる→さしあげる (humble, I do for a superior, but still bestowing — use with care). Most useful is 「〜ていただけますか／いただけませんか」 (could you please…), Japanese's most polite request form (e.g. ここにサインしていただけますか = could you please sign here).
🖊️ Practice Quiz
Q1. 「友達に荷物を持っ___。」(a friend carried it for me, I benefit)
(A) てもらった (B) てあげた (C) てくれた (D) both A and C
Q2. What's the difference between 「彼がケーキを作ってくれた」 and 「彼にケーキを作ってもらった」?
(A) exactly the same
(B) same meaning (I benefit); くれる is his perspective (‘he did it'); もらう is my perspective (‘I had it done', benefiting)
(C) completely different
Q3. What feeling does 「てあげる」 show?
(A) I received a favor
(B) I did something for the other (kindness/giving)
(C) the other did something for me
(D) I was forced to do it
Q4. What does 「友達に写真を撮ってもらった」 mean?
(A) I took a photo for my friend
(B) I had my friend take a photo (for me, I benefit)
(C) my friend took a photo by themselves
(D) we took photos of each other
Q5. What's the subject difference between 「てくれる」 and 「てもらう」?
(A) exactly the same
(B) くれる: the other is the subject (彼が教えてくれた); もらう: I am the subject (私は彼に教えてもらった)
(C) both have the same subject
(D) subject doesn't matter
Answer Key
1. (D) both A and C ── both てもらった and てくれた are correct (different perspectives, both fine).
2. (B) ── same meaning (I benefit); くれる is his perspective, もらう is mine.
3. (B) ── てあげる = I did something for the other (kindness/giving).
4. (B) ── 撮ってもらった = I had my friend take it for me (I benefit).
5. (B) ── くれる: the other is the subject; もらう: I am the subject.
Full Giving-and-Receiving Comparison
| Expression | Subject | Direction | Example |
|---|---|---|---|
| 〜てあげる | I (give to others) | I → others | 荷物を持ってあげた （I carried their luggage for them.） |
| 〜てもらう | I (receive from others) | others → I | 荷物を持ってもらった （I had someone carry my luggage.） |
| 〜てくれる | others (give to me) | others → I | 荷物を持ってくれた （They carried my luggage for me.） |
Common Mistakes (Quick Reference)
| Wrong | Note | Correct |
|---|---|---|
| 先生に教えてあげた （I taught my teacher (rude toward a superior).） | あげる toward a superior is rude | 先生に教えていただいた （I was kindly taught by my teacher.） |
| 彼がくれた (subject = 彼) | 彼 → 私 direction — use くれた ✅ | correct! |
| 私がもらった (subject = 私) | others → 私 direction — use もらった ✅ | correct! |
Keigo (Humble / Honorific) Versions
| Plain | Keigo | When |
|---|---|---|
| あげる | 差し上げる | I give to a superior |
| もらう | いただく | I receive from a superior |
| くれる | くださる | a superior gives to me |
More Examples: 〜てもらう
- 友達に英語を教えてもらいました。(I had my friend teach me English.)
- 医者に薬を出してもらいました。(I had the doctor prescribe medicine.)
- 駅員にホームを案内してもらった。(I had the station attendant show me to the platform.)
More Examples: 〜てくれる
- 彼が私のために料理を作ってくれた。(He cooked for me.)
- 彼女は毎日メッセージを送ってくれる。(She sends me a message every day.)
- 先生が丁寧に説明してくれました。(The teacher kindly explained it to me.)
More Examples: 〜てあげる (note: a strong "superior-to-inferior" feel!)
- 財布を忘れた友達にお金を貸してあげた。(I lent money to a friend who'd forgotten their wallet.)
- 道に迷っている外国人を案内してあげた。(I showed a lost foreigner the way.)
- ⚠️ Saying 「〜てあげます」 to a superior sounds rude! Use 「〜ましょうか？」 instead.